Ready for the Buzz?

After a long, snowy Montana Winter, Spring has finally sprung! I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am sure excited for Spring to be here with birds chirping and bees buzzing. Speaking of buzzing, there are a lot of so called “buzz” words floating around these days, but there are a few that don’t quite get the attention they need – sexual assault. Sexual assault is a crime of power and control, and offenders often choose people whom they perceive as most vulnerable to attack or over whom they believe they can assert power. This April marks the twenty-second annual Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Every 68 seconds an American is sexually assaulted, with sexual violence affecting literally hundreds of thousands of Americans each year.

There’s a type of sexual assault which tends to remain a hidden crime – marital or spousal rape and sexual assault by an intimate partner. Marital rape is the act of sexual intercourse with one's spouse without the other spouse's consent and the lack of consent is the crucial element. Sexual acts without consent, even among intimate partners, still constitute rape. Intimate partners account for at least 28% of perpetrators in adult rape cases. One out of every 8 adult women in the US has experienced at least one forcible rape in her lifetime and 68% of physically abused women also report being a victim of sexual assault at least once within their intimate relationship. Even though sexual assault can occur in non-violent relationships, it is more common in relationships which also have other violent and abusive behaviors. Unwanted sexual contact doesn’t necessarily need to be physical or violent. It can be verbal, visual, or anything forcing you to join in unwanted sexual contact or attention. The assault could happen once or many times and may occur in a non-violent relationship that is otherwise respectful. However, this doesn’t make the behavior okay. 

According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, there are three types of marital rape:

• Battering rape – Battering rape occurs when physical and sexual violence occur together. Victims may experience the physical and sexual violence at the same time, or one may occur after another. The rape may occur after physical violence as an attempt to “make up”.
• Force-only rape – This type of rape happens when physical violence is not present. As with all rape, this type of spousal rape is driven by a desire to exert power and control over another person. This desire manifests in acting as if sex is an entitlement to one party from another.
• Obsessive/Sadistic rape – Obsessive or sadistic rape is rape which involves torture or perverse sexual acts. This type of marital rape tents to be very violent and result in physical injuries.
  

Perpetrators have an intense sense of entitlement and most of them adhere to rigid “traditional” gender roles which focus on the inequality and objectification of women. This allows them to treat women and the targeted victim with no regard or respect. Although, historically, sexual intercourse within marriage was regarded as a right of spouses, engaging in the act without the spouse's consent is now widely classified as rape by many societies around the world, and increasingly criminalized. The reluctance to define and prosecute non-consensual sex within married couples as a crime has been attributed to traditional views of marriage, interpretations of religious doctrines, ideas about male and female sexuality, and to cultural expectations of subordination of a wife to her husband. Unfortunately, laws are rarely enforced, due to factors ranging from reluctance of authorities to pursue the crime, to lack of public knowledge that sexual intercourse in marriage without consent is illegal. 

Remember, it’s the perpetrators who are responsible for any and all sexual violence crimes, not the victims. For those in an abusive relationship, trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Don’t hesitate to tell someone and know you are not alone. There are many women experiencing domestic violence and spousal rape behind closed doors, and it is unacceptable. No one is allowed to force or coerce you into something you do not want. Ever. Not for any reason. No means no and rape is rape. Hi-Line’s Help for Abused Spouses in Conrad, MT breaks the silence and stops the cycle of violence by helping others improve personal and professional reactions, giving a voice and support to survivors and their families, and offering as many services, resources, and referrals as we can to survivors. We can also provide a multitude of training workshops to promote public awareness and education. For additional information and resources on Sexual Assault Awareness Month, call Hi-Line’s Help for Abused Spouses at 406-278-3372 or check out: https://www.nsvrc.org/saam.